Hello All. Tonight I've decided to enjoy my slight pseudoephedrine high via Sudafed and ignore my sinus headache long enough to drop a line or two. Thanks for playing your part.
I am due to have surgery this coming Monday, nothing too too scary, and I'm actually looking forward to the results. I have been plagued by a swollen lymph node in my left armpit for most of my life. It's been a nuisance off and on and it is always painful when it flares up. So far no one has been able to figure out the cause. So they're taking it out and sending it to the pathology lab to see what the heck is bugging it. So long, Old Friend! I'm hoping the news is good. The sort of scary part is putting my life in the hands of the anesthesiologist... I've been under twice and been fine. So, I'm sure I will be this time too. The biggest difference is the little people sleeping next door. My son is 5, and today said to me as though he were Humpty Dumpty from Puss In Boots, "Brothers and mommies forever. Always together." That sound you heard was my heart welling up and imploding.
While reflecting, I always remember the mistakes, the worries, the embarrassments, the nights going to bed, wishing I was a better mother, better wife, better daughter. If I were allowed a few wishes, a bucket list, it would probably be something like this:
1. I want to save the big cats from extinction. On a smaller scale, I have an ache to work on a personal level with those in captivity and travel and speak to those who would listen and act in order to preserve and co-exist with these magnificent creatures. I cannot imagine a world where I can only show my grandchild photos of tigers because they no longer exist.
2. I want to live by a beach with white sand, clear water, and free-flowing Coppertone 50 SPF.
3. I'd say I want a Mustang convertible, my dream car, but my husband has already made that come true.
4. I want to see my parents and sisters more often.
5. I want to take back every bad word ever spoken and every bad thought ever had about my husband. He is my best friend. He has shown me that miracles are possible. I can never doubt again.
6. I want my children to only ever have good memories of me. I never want them to cry or be upset or hurt or mad. I know, I know. It's a bucket list, remember?
7. I want my children to know how much I love them. They are my legacy. Nothing else I do in life matters the way they do. I wish I could hug them 1000 times a day. I wish I could express my love in everything I do. I wish I always had a ton of energy to play and run and build and teach. I wish I taught them as much as they teach me.
8. I want every cat in the world.
That doesn't seem like too much to ask, does it?
"As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15
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